Wednesday, November 17, 2004 :::
 

So I says to Santa, “Santa remember when we used to drop acid and go to the Riders football games?”

“Vaguely” he says.

“Well we did, come on remember how we used to put bags on our heads because the team was sooo bad for soo long and we’d spit peanuts at each other and when they hit the bag it sounded like machineguns to our fried little brains on account of the LSD and all.”

“Sure sure I remember’ he says. “yeah we were all chanting shit like throw it to the wife beater because one year they had a receiver who got in trouble with the law for smacking his lady friend. Yeah yeah and then we’d be all filling up beer mugs with piss and then tossing em off the top of the football stadium on to unsuspecting cops below”

“Well that was just you Santa, cause you were a bit of a CFL Hooligan, but I laughed I think when you got kicked out”

“Right” says Santa “then we’d be all Cheering wildy if the team even scored a field goal even though they’d still lose. Then We’d congratulate ourselves for being such super hard core fans even though we’d hadn’t seen the team win in like 5 years of going to nearly every game.”

“Yeah yeah then that American millionaire bought the team for his goofy son and they ran it into the ground. Then that one day we were snowboarding up at Fortune and you left the light on in your car and we were stuck in the parking lot and it was cold and dark and snowy and we were like what are we gonna do now? And then the owners doofus son Lonnie showed up and we were like hey Lonnie Glieberman you own the Riders can you give us a boost, we’re huge fans. And he was like nah losers I’m to busy and he sped away, and we were like eating his dust holding up our cables and he was all pffffts stupid Canadians. So we were bummed. Then they drained all the money outta the team and it went bankrupt and ended like over a 100 years of football in Ottawa. And we never got to win the Grey cup”

“yeah that sucked” said Santa “I hated those guys after that. No presents for them” he said in kind of a soup nazi sort of way.

“Well I think they were jewish and probably didn’t believe in you anyways” I said

“whatever”

::: posted by Mega at 5:59 AM

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Mega means big or large stir because I like to mix it up