Friday, January 17, 2003 :::
 

There's no doubt in my mind when I met him I instantly disliked him. We had been working half the summer under a harsh tropical sun paddling heavy Polynesian canoes through a treacherous reef pass. Our goal was a small barge hove to a mile off shore in gusty northeast trades.

Jet ski Hawaii. It was a comical operation really. Run by a mainlander named Joe Bonner who it was whispered, was said to be the son of a wealthy Lawyer who ran afoul of the law and his own predilection for the demon cocaine. The Judge gave him two options after he was apprehended ferrying twenty kilo's of the white powder. "Son it's Jail or service in the armed forces". He chose the navy and the rest is history 4 years on the aircraft carrier Nimitz and he was discharged off the ship into Honolulu harbour. His daddy fearful of further embarrassment should he return to civil society staked him well for his enterprise.

Jets ski Hawaii consisted of 10 powerful Kawasaki Ski's one Blue chip barge two koa wood Polynesian canoe's an illegal beach front stand where we were required to bark at the pink tourists then paddle those willing to cough up 50 US dollars for a half hour of barely controlled chaos in the swell beyond the reef.

The madness of this enterprise was overseen not by Joe for he was to busy partaking in the sea of nubile young flesh that is Waikiki in spring break.

The captaincy had passed through several men during our time. However now we were introduced to a wisp of a man who it was said was from Victoria a seaport of our home country. Although it was true that we were from a frozen land near no sea. We had been toiling in the Hawaiian chain for many years and although we lacked no formal qualifications we had the hardened knowledge of experience in all manner of heavy seas. Both of us were but lowly crewman in this comical venture. Illegal aliens at that. We were paid in cash at the end of every day. On our free time we had made it our pastime to sail the small craft known as windsurfers. Riding the stiff northeast trade's and surfing the very same treacherous reef passes that every second day we paddled the heavy outriggered canoes filled with oblivious cackling tourists through.

"And now to business." Our owner spoke quickly, the urgency of a great haste pressing his speech. "We've been through several captains our last has disappeared during the night. Here I introduce to you Mike from Victoria. He will lead you from this day forward."

Wizened as we were in the ways of the sea we regarded our new master with skepticism. We watched, as he appeared more concerned with his appearances in front of the fairer sexed tourists than he was with our safety or the safety of the machines for which the whole enterprise depended. After several close calls due to his ignorance a mutiny was brewing. The foul deed however never was performed. For Mike from Victoria's own ego was his undoing.

After enjoying a rising swell and fresh trade's at a reef known as Diamond Head I prepared for work the next day. In the light of dawn I saw that the sea was a viscous froth of white and blue. The swell had risen greater still and was giving every indication of continuing to do so throughout the day.

As I mentioned "a go out in heavy conditions should not be taken lightly." The new captain viewed the conditions as a chance perhaps to show his skills, which we had now, even less confidence than before.

Since he was the captain out went the barge through the channel which was now closing out every thirty minutes. Giant set waves feathered through to the reef. We timed it and made the passage and hove to as usual a mile or so off shore. I was dispatched in the canoe through the narrow channel at Kaisers to pick up the oblivious tourists. I, realizing the imminent danger every time we raced the sets through the channel screaming at the haole tourists to paddle like their life depended on it. After several brushes with 15 foot breaking waves the previously cackling paddlers soon realized the gravity of the situation and put their backs into each stroke. Safely we made it through till noon and a lunch break. As I fished for my meal below decks on the barge I realized that the pounding of the rough seas had fractured the hull and we were taking on water.

This I reported to the captain who was blissfully unawares.

For an hour the swell steadily built as the captain played in the waves for the tourists of the glass hulled boat the Ani Ani. When he finally returned I pleaded with him to make for the channel while we could still outrun the rising swells. After much dawdling we pulled anchor and made for the Ala Moana channel the largest on the south shore. However driving through the heavy seas put much strain on our haul and by the time we approached the channel our barge was in no shape to shoot the closeouts, which feathered through to the inside.

We waited in the safety of deep water and radioed the owner of our difficult situation. As the barge sank low in the water Our captain suddenly decided we must risk the channel or surely we will soon visit Davey Jones Locker. Risk it we did. Half way through the channel I felt a sickening feeling about me I spun around and saw a fright full sight. Where once the horizon lurked and with it a peaceable tropical sky, now loomed the cobalt dark blue of marching swells.

I knew from my experience that our speed was no match for the towering beasts. In an instant the first one broke pitching out with what seemed like the force of the whole Pacific Ocean right on top of our wounded craft. The machines on deck were pitched violently into the churning sea the channel was suddenly awash in the debris of shipwreck. I too would have been flung to an uncertain fate had I not had the forethought to grab a hold of the rigging. And as the second beast marched inevitably towards I saw with much distaste my captain abandoning ship on a ski and making for the safety of the harbour. The second one broke the ships back and even a heroic attempt at towing by the glass bottomed Ani Ani was abandoned due to obvious folly. With a gathering crowd at the sea wall and the no doubt imminent arrival of the harbour patrol I too abandoned that sorry barge and made it my goal to gather the flotsam and jetsam of the over washed cargo. Using the skis as one would a horse I roped up the whole mess and towed it into the lagoon. Then fearing the long arm of the INS I abandoned the stinking jet ski and paddled out to the surf on a board and blended in with the ocean till it was safe and I'd worked out my distaste for the captain who made such poor decisions then abandoned his command.

After the investigation I was called to a meeting with the owner who had somehow managed to have the whole incident termed an accident and he was of the opinion that a new barge should be built with the help of his crew of which sadly I consisted. The shameful captain had been fired and deported by the INS. I was asked but declined the command for such an operation was simply a vehicle achieve my private goal of collecting pacific adventures, but surely it was headed for many a more perilous voyage of which I wanted knowledge of but no responsibility.

::: posted by Mega at 9:25 AM

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Mega means big or large stir because I like to mix it up