Tuesday, November 12, 2002 :::
 

I've become so good at writing press release's that I thought I'd help out a friend to whom I helped get a business off the ground here's the text of my recent email exchange with this pal.

if your not laughing your crying

For Immediate release:

Stittsville Eastern Ontario: Mr X battery entrepreneur and deadbeat
extraordinaire announced today that it is more important to take a vacation
skiing in the Rockies than to pay back his friends who helped him get his
start in the pyramid scam business.

" I felt that I have had a very difficult number of years living off the
backs of my hard working and trusting friends " said the smooth talking but
barely believable businessman behind the hugely profitable Fresh Energy
company. "When I started this business I wanted to provide a service that
was not available in the market, a business that would never pay people back
what it owed" he said as he flipped through the channels on his giant screen
TV sipping a premium cup of coffee and taking a pull off of yet another
expensive Players light. " I feel I was hugely successful in this endeavor
and now it is time to take a break.

"I have chosen the Rockies this season since in the past I have taken
expensive trips to Whistler" said the financially challenged Executive. "I'm
hoping to persuade some investors in Ski country that what with electricity
prices going through the roof now is the time to buy batteries. Or perhaps
simply skip the batteries and give me the money which I will use to pay my
electricity bill."

Suddenly a lone voice amongst the assembled press gallery spoke up. Mr X,
Don't you feel bad about stiffing all your oldest friends?" It was then that
Mr X produced a PowerPoint slide show that offered a bulleted series of
explanations for his behavior. "The cheques in the mail" "I've had a tough
week" "I'll pay you when I can" "I'm selling my House" "I'm putting my wife
back to work" "Here's some post dated cheques"

These were just a few of the interesting but comical excuses for his
annoying habit of non payment.

As the press nodded knowingly at the slick presentation "Chaud" as he is
sometimes known quickly slipped out back to his luxury automobile sparked up
yet another Players light with a hundred dollar bill "borrowed" from some
poor soul and cackled as he cranked up the RPM's.

"Fuck you all you suckers" was all you heard as sped away into the sunset

The assembled throng soon dispersed back to their real world of paying what
they owed and helping trusted friends when asked.

::: posted by Mega at 10:08 AM

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Mega means big or large stir because I like to mix it up